Up to Something

by Liam the Younger

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about

UP TO SOMETHING
by LIAM THE YOUNGER
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“Hell, my ardent sisters, be assured,
Is where we’re bound; we’ll drink the pitch of hell”
--Marina Tsvetaeva, Bound for Hell

“Oh, what a blessed madness, sisters!”

--St Teresa of Avila, The Interior Castle
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Liam Betson: vocals, guitar, bass guitar
Ian Dykstra: drums
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Recorded at home and abroad between April 2018 and June 2019
Mastered by Timothy Stollenwerk
Photography by Alison Reynolds
All songs written by Liam Betson
Released by Blue Sisters Club in 2019
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Dedicated to those who helped and to those who wouldn’t, whatever their reasons.
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credits

released October 18, 2019

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about

Liam the Younger

Liam Betson is a North American songwriter.

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Track Name: Private World
In a private world…

Out of the sewer
and into the dustbin
Lady Godiva cleans
her apartment
Everything just so
and set in place
My, what a change
in mood from tidying
Oh yeah

Sweep the floors
and feather the edges
Medicated chores
What could be better than this?
Then a prayer to
Saint Spittle-and-Tears
Later, she'll invite friends
over for drugs and drink
Oh yeah

Her mercurial body
aging grayedly
With grace’s zits and oily hair
Concealer here, powder there
There, there

A private world
without beauty
A private world
without territory
Drifting in and out of fantasy
The city’s buzzing
Her friends are snorting
Sweet laughter on the balcony

In a private world…
Track Name: Charcoal Gray
Charcoal gray
Stuck in your mind today
Charcoal gray, charcoal gray

In the way
that your mind seems to stray
Charcoal gray, charcoal gray

Uh-oh, uh-oh
My trainer with whip
Gotta keep it quick
I’m gonna be sick
Up to my tricks

Just go away
Are you feeling okay?
Teeter and sway
That came outta nowhere
Trapdoor exit
from the symbolic order
Gray rain, gray building
Gray buried hoarder
Gray lights, gray shadow
Gray bones, gray marrow
Insane

Charcoal gray
Stuck in your mind today
Charcoal gray, charcoal gray

What you say
and what you mean
are they one and the same?
Charcoal gray, charcoal gray
Track Name: Time Drips
Time drips into the gutter
Awake-moment-memory
Another bird shits, wings aflutter
All animals have a mother

Time drips into the gutter
She the poet scribbles and mutters
The trick to art is never to suffer
Though moving skies make her shutter

And then you see
A wild dream
where everything
doesn’t repeat

Time drips into the filter
Someone’s buried
their treasure again
Not a demon
but exceptionally dangerous

Time drips into the filter
She the poet remains bitter
Sure sign of a winner
Sincerity makes her shiver

And then you see
a wild dream
Nothing’s as it seems
A gift from you to me
Track Name: Really All Alone
You’re really all alone, whatever
You’re never going home together
You’re hanging on the phone forever
Turn yourself to stone
That’s better

Can you credit these feelings
to a choice you made?
You forgot about
all your friends again

You’re really all alone, whatever
You’re so sweet + low together
Time keeps moving slow forever
You’re never gonna know
what’s better

Spending time with the big boys now
I know that it's not easy
to trust without receiving all those vows
But that’s what you said you wanted
And it's hard finding meaning 
what with everything repeating
But that's what you said you wanted
Isn’t it now?
Track Name: Smoke Gets in Your Eyes
Reflections of Tania in the water
Painting with color
Boat on fire
Whispering to every angry daughter
Our imaginings reaching
for backward desire

Madness is like a marble
between your thumb and finger
Long after it’s gone
it’s presence still lingers
Holding your thoughts
Releasing your breath
Rehearsing your repertoire
Forget lines, names and faces
Get us outta here

Nothing was the same
I slipped into a shadow
And I acted kind of strange
The mind begins narrow
And at first it’s rather plain
Straight just like an arrow
But it’s shape begins to change
Guess it just goes to show

And the sun
and the smoke
and the tears
get in your eyes
And you run
and you choke
and you’re laughing
as you cry

Insane then
Ecstatic again
Losing my grip
In love with this

And I know that I will never say it again
That wishing existence never ever began
And I know that I will never come here again
Heading back into sunset
Track Name: Nothing If Not at All
I stammered, I cried
and I rang out
I stained my lips with wine
In the madhouse
visiting hours ended
and I felt just fine

Glittering glammed
It happened again
Strutting on the street
Someone called me
far too thin
Suggested that I eat

Nothing if not at all
Nothing if not at all
Nothing if not at all
Nothing if not at all

Nothing if not put to the test
Similar but different from the rest
Tear down the monuments
stricken with too much confidence
There are tools with which to dig
into the minds of strange men
One for fear
One for sex
One for love
One for death

Sweet dreams
Drifting, seeing things
Dirt rests, I guess
Just like me
What the hell
have you unearthed?
Something ancient
Something cursed
Track Name: On the Veranda
And all the boys laid out
on the veranda
Proper grim scene, yeah?
Tanning and sussing it out
Laying on the veranda

Watching my every move
Quick draw shoot at the shoes
Dice game I deliberately lose
Partner up however you choose

And the boys drew knives
on the veranda
Mind your fuckin’ manners
That’s my mate you’re talking to
Now what are you gonna do?

What an awful mess
It doesn’t get better than this
Violence grows into bliss
Now more bliss bliss bliss

With the boys laid out
on the veranda
With their ruddy bloody laughter
What a sorry lot
A flower’s expected to bloom
On the veranda
Track Name: Her Hand Falls
Her hand falls
toward my Barbie doll ass
The stars not in the sky
Oh, she’s reaching for the feeling
My beauty hisses tonight

Now is the summer
of our summers
Songs never end
Months lasting years

Her hand falls
toward my bruised knee
The birds are out of tune
My beauty dull and simple
Far away may be very soon

First you know
Then you don’t know
First you know
Then you don’t know

Ah
Something changes after all
Living in parallel
While in paradise
in Hell In Hell in Hell in Hell

It crawled from nothing
Under the sign of the black mark
Then back to where it’s nice
I guess along for the ride
You know who you are, right?
And the look on your face shows it

Dream dreams
Or not
Cry, crybaby
You really don’t even try
Does it look right, baby?
You never really knew it
Comes down to
a lack of confidence
Does it look right?

We inhale and dive
beneath the cool water
beyond the buoyed fences
and we sit in vacant lifeguard chairs
combing our sea-wet hair
Mosquitoes on our wrists
Suck blood

That object of fantasy
is unobtainable
The past is impossible
The future’s gonna happen
Yeah, it keeps happening
Just my luck
Track Name: Easy to Make Fun Of
Easy to make fun of
though we mustn't make fun of it
Nodding in agreement
with a vat of boiling acid
Begin wearing smocks
and reform your compassion
Turn away from hate
though hate can be romantic
Collecting dirt from fields
Finding littering attractive
A picture of a picture
A hobby for idiots
Tie me to the mast
It's a gift to be embarrassed
I’d do anything for you
to give me less of this
Endless blockades
Endless everything
Crawling over glass
and airing it on TV
We must remain undiagnosed
and incomprehensible
On second thought
how ‘bout polite and sensible
I’m in the middle of some mania
But I’m staying mum

I admire and respect you
as an individual
I think you are
rather remarkable
Your kindness and grace
have set an example
I try to live by it
Thank you
Track Name: Eyes on the Back of My Head
I’ve got eyes on the back of my head
I’ve got eyes watching me
I can feel you watching me
Touching me
But I can’t feel you touching me
Telling me what’s happening
What’s happening?
Updates to our terms of use and privacy

I’ve got eyes on the back of my head
Sometimes I think they wish we were dead
Do you think they heard what we said?
There isn’t anything they wouldn’t spend
See how far technology extends

I’ve got eyes on the back of my head
and you’ve got me bugged
Track Name: No or Yes
Tempted to hate
With all contradiction
Not being reasonable
Madness was just madness after all
Body too big
Body too small
Negative qualities make us beautiful
Up to a point
and then hate sure is ugly again

State violence, for instance
Something to hate
Hate as in exclusion from
mercy and grace
Hating yourself, as it turned out,
was a dead end
From now on
express yourself more wildly unhinged

This feeling
that I'm feeling
is not a feeling 
It's a place
It's heaven

It's unpharmaceutical
It's no context
It's incomprehensible
It’s no common sense
I’m born to die, world is a fuck
I'm losing my head
I’m outta luck
I'm a ringing bell
I'm an arson's bed
It's time to wake up again
Track Name: I Wanna Cut You Out
Time has made a wretch out of me
Forces at work on my body

I’m running through the backrooms
Screaming in the halls
Searching for anything
Desperate for it all
Hiding with the robbers
Running from the cops
These walls can talk
and they won’t shut up
Something buried got dug up
The 21st century’s run amok
They wanna drop anything
They’re gonna drop it all
They’ll trip you on purpose
Have a nice fall

Time has made a mess out of me
Alchemical drug dealing

Someone’s in the attic
Hey, don’t open that door
Flowers in the basement
growing through the floor
I think this house is haunted
I think it oughta burn
I’m losing my mind first
Wait your turn

Time has made a fool out of me
Guess I’ll be dissociating

I’m in the garden
Dreamy with my shears
Nothing is forgotten
Cutting back the years
Golden in the evening
Silver in the dawn
Losing grip on meaning
I’m gone

I wanna cut you out
Oh yeah

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