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Featureless Interior

from The Cover of Hunter by Liam Betson

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lyrics

I don't like it when I act like it
was something much bigger than it was.
And I don't like it when I can't hide it,
like I said it wouldn't hurt but now it does.
We sat beneath what I think
might have been a willow tree;
you and me where the worms squirm and crawl.
My eyes were closed
and your hand was on my back
and when it fell I felt it fall.

So what's the use in blushing for you
when posture proves such a strong point of view?
All strength is collected in your chest
or in the decorative perfume bottle kept on your desk.

I want to look at myself from another perspective—
primarily through disembodiment and absorption into a wall
where each scene dissolves into the next one,
a dream-world that allows for memory's retention,
where I'm cleaned up like a silhouette cut in paper.
I’m only there for a minute then I’m back with some resolve.
Would that feel better? Reflection without mirrors or talking.
Reflection where I see myself as somebody else.

But I don't want to disappear
even if that were allowed.
I like being here and having you around
makes it clear: Empathy is real.
A cleft in personality is easy to conceal.

I have been accepted and will never forget it.
I am grateful to speak without apprehension.
I won’t feel sorry for how I dreamed about you—
APOLOGIZING FOR DREAMS IS OFFENSIVE.
Last night I saw a homeless man
spit birdseed into a plastic bag;
I wasn’t asleep but it felt like I was dreaming.
And sometimes that’s how I want it to be.
Above and beyond memory
there is a complete and total feeling.

I’m warmed by it.
Surprise is to the neck as adoration is to the eyes.
And I’m choked by it.
Worry is to the stomach as loneliness is to the entire body.

credits

from The Cover of Hunter, released July 22, 2014

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Liam the Younger

Liam Betson is a North American songwriter.

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